If you're anything like me, you'd rather just avoid this whole gift business altogether. But somewhere along the way we've all got to behave like adults - and there's nothing more adult than turning your holiday shopping into an excuse to drink.
You're not going to find beer at the mall, are you?
Your first stop should be at Upland's new tasting room, where you can try a beer or two and pick up an Upland T-shirt (prices range from $12 to $17), a pint glass ($5), or keychain bottle opener ($1) for someone else. Of course you'll want to pick up a bomber for yourself while you're in there ($12 new, $8 refills for most beers).
Perhaps you've now realized that it's winter out there, and that a t-shirt is a nice start, but a sweatshirt might be a better idea. Luckily, Sun King Brewing has both - Sun King's vast selection of T-shirts run from $15 to $20, and sweatshirts are $30. They've even got a selection of hats - both summer baseball style and winter sledding style ($15). Keep in mind that these clothing items aren't just great holiday gifts - they also double as "I'm Sun King Brewer and Vice President Clay Robinson" Halloween costumes. All you'll need is one of those strap-on beards.
Of course there's more than just clothing at Sun King's tasting room - there's also beer. Gift the gift of a 64 oz. Growler filled with one of their house beers for $10.50, or just $9.00 on Fridays. Or check out one of their newer 32 oz. growlers for just $9.00 or 8.50 on Friday (special release prices may vary). And don't forget a pint glass ($5) or four ($17.50) while you're in there - it makes for a nice little gift set. Combine with a Sun King poster - ask for the hand numbered and artist autographed HBG3 poster, which is quite lovely (not sure what they're charging, but at any price it's a steal) - for the ultimate gift for the Sun King superfan in your life.
Oh, and don't forget to sample a few while you're in there.
After all that hard work, you're probably going to be hungry. Stop in at Scotty's Brewhouse downtown for a bit to eat, and to pick up a gift card for that special someone. Scotty has gift cards available in denominations of $5, $10, $25, $50, and $100 - and if you spend $100, you'll get another $25 free.
And don't forget to have a beer for me while you're in there.
Phew! All that shopping was hard work. You'll probably want your driver to bring you home now so you can revel in the knowledge that you've completed another successful holiday shopping trip. Did you forget anyone? If you've enjoyed yourself (and chances are you have) you probably did. Luckily you've still got the internet.
First off, you can pick up an Upland (Bloomington location) Gift Card, where you'll get $20 in food and beer for the low price of $17. You might just pick that up for yourself - it's just a good deal.
And while you're on the Upland kick, Upland bike jerseys at also available online in a variety of styles ($60 each or two for $100) - Blue Upland logo, Bad Elmer, Helios, and Dragon Fly IPA. Everybody likes bike jerseys, just visit a beer festival sometime. There's also a few folks wearing the Arrogant Bastard jersey. In fact, by clicking on that link you'll find quite a few more bike beer jerseys, all available for quick shipping (I'm assuming) or pick up locally at Circle City Bicycles on the south side of Indianapolis.
Of course if you're gonna make that trip, wait until you've sobered up. Nobody likes a drunk Santa.