08 October 2013

KOTBR #151 | Comedy Night at Black Acre Brewing Company

Good evening ladies and germs!

So a teenager goes to his parents and says, “I want to be a brewer when I grow up.” His parents reply, “Sorry kid, you can’t have both.”

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

This is for Jim…

Why don’t Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Okay, this one is for Mike…

What is the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add Coke!

Okay, I’m no Milton Berle and this is not the Catskills. But Indianapolis is not joking when it comes to good beer. And Black Acre Brewing Company (5632 E. Washington St., blackacrebrewing.com) is a seriously good neighborhood bar and brewery.

Speaking of jokes, we decided to bring back roundtable ratings. Sorta.

We tried to pick a Black Acre beer to review, but we were too busy drinking their variety of beers that we could not decide on one. So we rated a whole lot of them.

Hop Pun Double IPA
Ahh, a beer in his natural habitat: Black Acre Brewery. So why don’t beers wear shoes? Because they have beer feet! What do you get when you pour beer in your mother’s shoes? A spanking! Hey everybody, Hop Puns are on the house! But be careful, we just had the roof re-tarred!
Rating: 5 wacka wacka wackas

Mr. Caulfield Rye Wheat Ale
If you are Holden a pint of this beer, you will not find any phony qualities. Thankfully, you won’t have to wait for a world renowned author to die to order another one.
Rating: 4 new Salinger stories

Citra Pale Ale
Holy hop bomb Batman! The pale ale leaves a POW! in your mouth but, like a boomerang, you will be coming back for more. Same Black Acre time, Same Black Acre channel!
Rating: 4.5 Batarangs

Rye Stout
One drink of this beer and you will feel like you are riding in a Chrysler Cordoba, complete with soft Corinthian leather. One drink and it will forever be tattooed on your brain and taste buds. It is complex, not de plane! If you want to order one, then you certainly KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Rating: 3.95 Ricardo Montalbans

Hop Pun Double IPA
Ooh! Ooh ooh! That was ver-ry impressive, Mister Black Acr-r-r-re!
Rating: 4.2 Horshacks

Citra Pale Ale
You know, this would be funnier if it were Simcoe Pale Ale, but it’s not. It is Citra Pale Ale with its fruity and citrusy characteristics. But let’s be serious for a moment. Ever since Bob Barker left the air, the animal population has skyrocketed. Nobody is spaying or neutering their animals. When there are that many extra pets, it means only one thing: deeply discounted prices on Chinese food. Good for the Jews at Christmas; bad for cat and dog lovers. Unless they love the taste of cats and dogs.
Rating: 3.5 feral cats

Nit Wit Belgian Witbier
You are in a bar.
I order a beer.
The bartender serves you a beer.
I drink the beer.
Rating: 4 d20's

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Black Acre’s guest tap list.
Black Acre’s guest tap list who?
Black Acre’s guest tap list is not a joke, so there’s no punch line, son. They had Bloomington Brewing Company’s 10 Speed on tap. It is an American Pale Wheat Ale that many of us have been enjoying. A lot. So we decided to review it.

So we drank the beer. And enjoyed it. And forgot to write down notes. So the biggest joke of all is that we are a “beer” blog. But I digress…

Bloomington’s 10 Speed is better than any bike ridden by Cru Jones or Dave Stoller. It is listed as a specialty beer on their website. But hopefully they will upgrade it to the regular lineup because the subtle fruit notes and wheat base combination rivals any other hoppy wheat produced in the state.

No, that is not a joke.

If you happen upon a cask of 10 Speed on pineapple, drink it up. Every. Last. Drop.

Chris: 3.9 gear boxes
Gina: 4.25 sprockets
Meg: 3.75 sparkly vampires
Mike: 4.25 huevos rancheros
Jason: 4.25 whoopee cushions
Jim: 4.1 gong shows


  1. If this was Showtime at the Apollo, you would have got clowned off the stage after paragraph 2.