06 May 2013

Third Annual Dark Lord Day Pub Crawl #dldpc3

Hi.  We’re Meg and Kristin. This is the story of our third annual Dark Lord Day Pub Crawl #dldpc3. The pub crawl's name originated from, "Eff you, go have fun at Dark Lord Day. We're going to stay in the comfort of our own city and drink." Warning - this post is not about beer.

We had some rules for the day:

  • each spend $200 on food and drinks -this had to include friends AND strangers 
  • ask a question/take a poll at each location
  • last stop had to be the Alley Cat.

1. A group of 9 frisky folks met at the Broad Ripple Brewpub at 1pm. We ordered a variety of beers…Rye PA, Strange Broux Brew, Lawn Mower Pale Ale, and Gale’s Hard Cider.  This is the only place we took notes on the beer, and they were crappy notes. The beers were all good.

First Question/Poll! Are you able to poop in a public restroom? 2 for no / 7 for yes. Poopers rule. (later that changes to 2 / 9)

2. We rolled a D20 die to predict where we moved next – don’t worry, we only did this once. And it failed because Connor’s won but Plump’s pulled us in on the walk over. So much for fate. Osiris wasn’t on tap, which was a bummer because it’s a tradition to order a pitcher(s). There were a lot of High Lifes ordered by the folks trying to pace themselves…  We picked up one more crawler! Oh, and then we lost one. :(


Second Question/Poll!  Would you rather eat human feces twice a month or have to constantly clap your hands? 8 for human feces / 2 for clapping. We decided that the question did not list the amount of feces you had to eat…and you could cook the feces into something. Feces was the obvious choice at that point.

3. Connor’s. So every year the Cancer Crawl folks are out and about on the day of our crawl, and we always seem to hit Connor’s when it’s loaded with these Crawlers. This year was no different. Boy those Cancer Crawlers can dance! A round of Fat Head’s Head Hunter was ordered…kind of…they ran out. And we were shown where the boobies are located on the wall. We also met a black lab, whose owner stood while the dog sat in the seat. Brilliant chick magnet move.


Third Question/Poll! What member of Hoosier Beer Geek would you take on a date? (this was not the question actually asked) Mike Atwood - unanimous.

4. OH it was time for the Wellington! Brian told us all about the Zappos store in Louisville. YES…there is a store. YES…the story was captivating. There was also talk about nonprofits and guns. Beer does funny things. We decided to buy a couple a round if they answered the poop in a public restroom question. They both said YES! Of course.

Fourth Question/Poll! You have to remove an organ…what organ do you remove and who do you give it to?

Meg: Kidney to her next cat that has renal failure
Chris: Kidney to Meg’s cat to see it wear a kidney backpack
Erik: Heart to the lion...we decided he meant the tin man
Brian: Lungs to the kiddos at Bonnaroo so they could scrape the resin off and smoke it
Kristin: Liver to the Broad Ripple Brewpub to cook and serve
Jamey: Male organ to a transgender
Libbie: Liver to science
Ross: Bladder to the mom of the Duggar family
Rachel: Liver for a new liver

5. BRUGGE! It was seriously time for more beer and food:  Lunchbox IPA, some Pooka, some other beers, and two orders of l’enorme frits. Warning…the poll below is obnoxious.

Fifth Question/Poll! You’re in a nude calendar…What month are you, and what is your theme?

Ross: Cocktober, no theme needed
Chris: Sextember, no theme needed
Kristin: July – vagina explosion O_o
Brian: August – naughty school girl
Meg: December – elf in my shelf
Erik: March – naked Caesar
Rachil: May – MayPOLE dancer
Libbie: November: naked on the turkey
Jamey: December: 12 inches of Christmas

6. Yes…we were still going. Chumley’s seemed like the right place to go. $3 Saturday pints! No idea what time it was at this point.

Sixth Question/Poll! Peanut butter & Jelly or Peanut Butter & Honey? We think Peanut butter & Jelly won…there are some side comments…like it depends if the bread is toasted. We picked out a group of six to buy a round for if they answered our poll. Yes…they all answered PB&J…so that was the winner. We ordered them one margarita, four Alpha Kings, one Upland Wheat, and one Fat Tire. Yep…we wrote that down…clear as day.

7. We made it to the Alley Cat. Maybe it was 7pm? We drank.

Seventh Question/Poll! Would you have sex with Kristin’s mom? 4 yes / 3 no. No, Kristin did not answer this question, sickos.

So that concludes our third annual Dark Lord Day Pub Crawl. No one had anything stolen.


  1. Nope. Not really about beer, but it was extremely funny. Thanks for the laugh!

  2. I refuse to believe that no one answered me for question 3.

  3. I can't believe our last question of the day was about peanut butter & jelly. THANK GOD.

  4. Fantastic reviews of...well nothing. But definitely one of my favorite HBG articles, I had a great time reading it!

  5. I'm available for anyone to take on dates as long as you're buying and don't expect anything afterward.

  6. This pub crawl sounds far more fun that Dark Lord Day has become.

  7. ...so many questions, lol.

  8. You people had a nice time. 2013 is the year of Crawls. Many Crawls lined up for the year. Visit the link to see all of them.

    SF Pub Crawl