Johann Gottlieb Heileman is probably looking down at me in a scornful manner

Appearance.

Smell.

Taste.

Mouthfeel.

Drinkability.

These are things that many beer geeks judge a beer by. It seems straightforward. Based on these criteria, you should be able to judge beers in a consistent manner. But then come the intangibles.

Location.

Company.

Event.

Season.

Time.

Where you are drinking the beer ...and with whom ...and at what time of day ...and what time of year... all of these have an impact on your senses and your attitude. So how you feel about a beer after you mowed the lawn will differ from the same beer at a football tailgate or at a bar with friends.

That has to be the reason why in a blind taste test, I ranked Hamm's much higher than Old Style, a beer that is near and dear to my heart (yes, I'm a Cubs fan), that I described for Indy.com as having a "funky aftertaste". Compared to the other five beers, I said it has "less nose, but funkier".

I'll probably be ranked with Steve Bartman as all time worst Cubs fans for this Old Style faux pas. They'll never let me into Wrigley again.

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Also, be sure to check out Indy.com's writing on Mat Gerdenich and Brian Snider of Cavalier Distributing.

Roundtable #30 | Retro Beer Challenge | Final Round and Champion

Here we are at the final round of the Retro Beer Challenge, with three contenders for the crown: Old Style, Budweiser, and Rolling Rock. Before we announce the winner, just a few notes.

The Worst: Jim thought Miller High Life was the worst of any of the beers we drank, but I'd have to go with PBR, which we eliminated in our preliminary round at the Melody Inn. It's kind of like choosing your least favorite dictator.

The Vomit: There was none. We drank four ounce samples, and because these beers average out at around 5.0 percent alcohol volume, we were easily able to handle them. I don't recall feeling drunk at all.

Added bonus for Utah, Minnesota, and Oklahoma drinkers: Budweiser in those states is 3.2% ABV due to state laws. So not only does it taste bad, but it won't get you very drunk.

The Winner: When it came down to picking a favorite, we each chose something different. Jim liked Rolling Rock, Kelly liked Old Style, Gina liked Budweiser. In choosing the sample labeled "B", I thought I was voting for Old Style - but as it turns out, I chose Budweiser as well. Which means our winner is Budweiser. King of Beers, indeed.

Jim calls this result "a rigged, St. Louis-ian conspiracy by two members of the Roundtable", but that's not the case at all - to be honest the differences between the three finalists were so small that it was really hard to choose one. On a different day I'd be just as likely to choose Rolling Rock or Old Style. They're really that close. So if you're somewhere away from good beer, but you're still looking to drink, any of the three are fair options.



The Post-Contest Challenge: After picking our winner, we opened up a bottle of Sam Adams Boston Lager to see if there was a noticeable difference between it and the Retro Beer contestants. Not only was there a difference, the difference was amazing. Sam Adams actually tastes like beer.

Roundtable #30 | Retro Beer Challenge | Semifinal Round

We really could drag this out forever...

Because we'd already taken notes and picked out the outstanding flavors of all the contenders, all we had to do now is line them up, taste them, and pick a favorite. We were still working blind, and surprisingly enough, it was pretty easy to forget which beer was which in the process of pouring and distributing samples. We kept notes near the pouring area just to make sure.

First up: Budweiser vs. Schlitz. I think we were all kind of hoping Schlitz was going to win this matchup, if only because Schlitz is by far the crudest sounds beer name of them all, ranking above both Arrogant Bastard and Old Leghumper. But this wasn't a name contest - and Budweiser's fruity, garbagey/white wine nose and well-balanced, crisp and agreeable flavor beat out Schlitz's slightly sulfury, "like someone threw an egg into the brewkettle" yet somehow "agreeable" taste.

Budweiser moves on to the finals.



Our second semifinal matchup featured heavy-hitters Rolling Rock and Old Style. You may recall from earlier reading that Old Style featured a "faint skunkiness, with notes of water and malt and a well balanced pissiness." Rolling Rock didn't have much nose, but the taste was reminiscent of a white wine; a little fruity, and a bit tart. When put head to head, the vote was split right up the middle, with two of us voting for Old Style, and two of us voting for Rolling Rock. As a result of our indecisiveness, both Rolling Rock and Old Style advanced to the final round.



What will happen in our three way final? Can pissiness beat out tart frutiness* or garbageyness*? Can you handle the excitement? Did any of us throw up? Place your bets, leave your comments, and tune in tomorrow for our next installment of.... THE HOOSIER BEER GEEK RETRO BEER CHALLENGE.

*these words are definitely not in the dictionary

*if you're wondering about PBR, we tossed it way back here

Roundtable # 30 - Retro Beer Challenge - Round 2 (Wisconsin Region)

As we sat down to sample all 12 of the Retro Beer Challengers, I think the realization hit us all at about the same time: "Oh god, I've got to drink all of these." While this statement was probably said in ecstasy by my neighbor, who inherited the leftovers, there was only regret in the minds of the participating Knights.

I don't want to knock anyone who drinks this stuff regularly - it's pretty much an American tradition to drink this kind of beer. But once you've gone on to something better, there's really no turning back. You've got to trust us on this - this stuff really isn't good. If you don't believe us, come on out to a roundtable some time - we can prove it in two drinks. I'll even buy.



Round Two featured three beers from Wisconsin - Old Style, Old Milwaukee, and Blatz. You might think that these beers are easy to find, but it took trips to multiple liquor stores to find them. Blatz and Schlitz (which is featured in an upcoming round) could only be found in 24 pack cases, and when we brought the beer to the counter at PartyPak Liquors, the clerk said "I didn't know we had this." Such is the grip that Bud/Miller/Coors has on the local liquor scene. Or maybe it's just lack of demand - we saw Dogfish Head products more often than anything from the Pabst family (click on "Our Beers" to see the expansive selection).

All three of these beers looked exactly the same, but there were differences in taste.

Beer 1 was described as malty, soapy, and bitter. Kelly noted "this reminds me of high school - shitty beer drank in a corn field."

Beer 2 had a bizzare smell - skunk and/or vinegar. It was described as bitter and flat.

Beer 3 had a faint skunkiness, with notes of water and malt. It wasn't as offensive as the others, and had a "well balanced pissiness."

As you can probably figure, beer 3 (Old Style) advanced to the next round, with beer 1 (Old Milwaukee) narrowly beating beer 2 (Blatz) in score.

And so, the Cub beer moves on. There you go, Cubs fans! That's what a win looks like!

Ok, low blow.